We serve a big God! He is also our good Father who loves His children. He is slow to anger and abounding in love and mercy.
This weekend was a weekend that I never want to have over again – but I know what happened in the spirit is tremendous and that makes it all worthwhile. I flew back from Namibia earlier than planned to be home for the weekend. We fought in the spirit the entire weekend and I didn’t even have time to put a foot out of the house. We were fighting against ‘hatred’, ‘fear’ and the ‘angel of death’. Hatred comes from the words people say about us and that is actually witchcraft in the spirit. Fear is one of the enemy’s strongest and most used weapons that he uses against all of us; and the angel of death because of the significance of the date... 19 June was the date of our accident seven years ago.
We could literally feel how the pressure intensified and the nights were the worst; but the blood of the Lamb is so much stronger than the tactics of the enemy. Aldo said that they were trying to fight him from the ‘Dung Gate’ and that there were gatekeepers who were standing guard at the gate to make sure the gate stays open. With a loud ‘Hallelujah’ I can call out today: The Dung Gate is closed again! So many people live with the Dung Gate open in their lives... I mean, who of us haven’t used that age old expression “all hell is loose”. To close the Dung Gate is part of what the Lord revealed to me about Nehemiah’s wall.
Each of our lives are different and we have different issues to face and giants to fight. In my life the battle raged before my father’s death because of racism that kept the Dung Gate open. After my father repented and changed his heart the Dung Gate could close. Well, the enemy won’t stop trying to find a weak spot. He will use whatever he can get to attack us. But Abba is faithful. While I was in Namibia a friend of mine sent me a text message staying: “Retah, read Isaiah 28:15-18.” It says: Because you have said, “We have made a covenant with death, And with Sheol we are in agreement. When the overflowing scourge passes through, It will not come to us, For we have made lies our refuge, And under falsehood we have hidden ourselves. Therefore thus says the Lord GOD: “Behold, I lay in Zion a stone for a foundation, A tried stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation; Whoever believes will not act hastily. Also I will make justice the measuring line, And righteousness the plummet; The hail will sweep away the refuge of lies, And the waters will overflow the hiding place. Your covenant with death will be annulled, And your agreement with Sheol will not stand; When the overflowing scourge passes through, Then you will be trampled down by it.”
I then realized that Aldo’s name was still on an altar of death because of what my forefathers did before me as a result of the bloodline curse. I immediately started praying about it and breaking the stronghold in the spirit. Step by step we moved closer to the breakthrough. Of course this wasn’t the only reason for the attacks on his life - his soul wounds were definitely another area where they targeted him. This goes for all of us because we all struggle in some area or another. In a time of intense warfare our thoughts and heart are under serious attack and the breach usually comes at these weak spots for the enemy knows where to hit us the hardest with his arrows from hell.
On Sunday we announced Aldo’s year of Jubilee in the spirit realm and as a family we used communion together. Aldo blew the shofar, but the fight didn’t stop... instead it intensified. Tinus, Josh and Chans went out for coffee during the morning (so that Josh could feel he was also doing something for his Dad on Father’s day), and Aldo and I stayed home. While we were alone I cried out to Abba for help, because I was at that wonderful place of total dependence and vulnerability... I realized that only the blood of the Lamb could save me. Self-sufficiency couldn’t help me and the age-old enemy of fear was looking me straight in the eyes. Only with Jesus – and through His blood – could I overcome. This realization should really humble us. While I was laying there face down on the carpet, I wondered to myself how many times I had been here before. Aldo was laying next to me. He didn’t move a muscle, but I knew he knew that his Mommy was fighting for him in the spirit.
When I think back over all the times I had been at this place before in my life, I just know that our Abba and King is faithful. His plans for us, and the work He does in our lives, are always for our benefit. He is the good Shepherd who knows best. His heart towards us is always good because He is a good Father who loves His children. He is slow to anger abounding in love. I know that I can trust Him, even though I am laying on a carpet thinking to myself “How much longer God!?”
When will the enemy finally leave us alone? Are the sins in my family line really so bad that we have to suffer so much? Or is it because I love You so much Lord and that I do the task you have appointed for me that the enemy won’t stop his attacks? Throughout all the churning thoughts and emotions I still had a deep knowing inside of me that He is busy with a transforming work within me through these daily situations... and I then again released everything to Him. “Lord, I let go of all my plans and ways again, and I allow You to have your perfect way in my life.”
Everything in life happens for our good or bad – depending on what we choose to do with it. When Aldo struggles to let go of the past we know that the enemy is trying to keep his thoughts captive with resentment and unforgiveness. This makes me realize how Satan robs so many people from the fullness of Christ because we stay focussed on what we missed in life, instead of remembering what we gained and how the Lord used it to form our character.
Gal 2:20 says: I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
This verse speaks volumes of what it means to be filled with the Holy Spirit and having the fullness of His rivers of living water flowing unhindered out of us. It is crucially important for a life of victory in Christ. The key is to be crucified with Christ so that we no longer live, but Christ lives through us.
It comes down to this: There is a cross and a throne in our lives. If “I” am on the throne, then Christ is on the cross; but if Christ is on the throne, then “I” am on the cross. The measure in which we will allow the cross to operate in our lives – to bring death to our selfish ambitions, our ways, our rights, our reputation, our interests – is the measure through which Christ will manifest Himself through us.
Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life (John 12: 24-25).
In essence what I have found in my life is that if you really want to see Jesus, if you really want to close to Him, if you really want to be transformed to His image... you have to die to self. There is no other way. To get to resurrection you have to pass through death – death to self, alive to Christ.
As I walk out this journey I can hear Jesus saying as He is walking next to me: “Yes Retah, I know this is painful – but remember that I will never leave you nor forsake you. My beauty and love will be seen in all of those who have died to self. You must be a grain of wheat that falls into the ground. Only when you die can I resurrect you to produce greater life. Blessed are the pure in heart Retah, for they shall see God (Matt.5:8). A pure heart has no soulish life left in it – is has been crucified and resurrected.”
It is so very difficult to me when Aldo suffers so much because of the arrows the enemy aimed at his thoughts. Many times Aldo will reveal to us what people say about him in his letters or by saying it out loud: “’This or that’ person says that I am just a retarded boy writing stuff and that the world is listening to a retarded boy”... “they deserve what they are going through”... “they think they are better than others” and so on. A day or two later these people will phone me or talk to me without knowing that I know what is going on in their hearts. I know that the Lord has a reason and a purpose why He reveals these things to us, but it is still difficult for me to process all this information and deal with the hidden motives. The enemy will use our thoughts and words to try and destroy each other. “Lord, please help me! What do you want me to do with this? And what about Aldo? What do we do with the anger he feels and how can we protect his heart from getting hurt?”
“So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment” James 2:13-14.
The Lord answered me and said: “Retah, please make sure you forgive them and that you bless them so that you can have mercy in your mercy bowl. You need to forgive and bless the woman who used to work for you that was involved in witchcraft. Even though she is still planting occult things in your garden as a way to try and keep on performing her witchcraft, you need to forgive her and bless her. Let Me fight your battle for you – but I can only do it if you are obedient to My commands. And as for your close family and friends who say evil things about you... let them be the ones who curse, not you. You just keep on blessing and forgiving – that is the only way to victory.”
One evening almost a year ago Aldo sat at the kitchen table and said: “Mom, always make sure that there is mercy in your mercy boul.”
“Where is my mercy bowl Aldo?” I asked quite surprised.
“In the throne room Mom. Every time you give mercy to someone else, the angels pour out more mercy into your bowl.”
Today I understand so much better what he meant, because now I know when I go to the court of God that the enemy stands ready with his accusations. If I knew that my mercy bowl is empty, I wouldn’t have dared to go into the throne room. God is not a respecter of person. God is a righteous Judge, and He will never go against His own words. Jesus said: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy” (Matt.5:7).
We went through Sunday evening quite peacefully but around 4 am Aldo woke up. He was still a bit clouded from the sleep, but he wrote: “Everything the enemy tried to do is broken Mommy. I will be okay now. Thank you for everyone who prayed for me.” Then he jumped up and went looking for his dad. “Why do you want him so desperately Aldo?” I asked. “I want to wish him a happy Father’s day, Mom!” I smiled at him as he was walking away, because he was one day late... but this made me realize that the Aldo was back!
At the breakfast table Josh said happily: “Welcome back Aldo!” He still gets distracted easily but we know that his jubilee year has started and we are through the worst part of the battle.
I can’t say thank you enough to everyone around the world who prayed with us. Thank you for every prayer, every loving thought, every act of kindness and faith. Proclaiming with us that what God has started in Aldo, He will complete!
This is what a mother looks like who refuses to give up – because I know that I know that I know God is a good Father who loves His children. He is slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness and mercy.
Tinus and Josh and Chans are doing so well. I stand astounded to see how my warrior husband stand in his God-given authority in our home. There is nothing more beautiful than to see your husband on his face calling out to God.
Chansie is such a special gift from God. There was a time when the fight was so fierce in our house that I thought I broke my nose (that’s how intense the spiritual battle was), and then Chans would come walking into our house beautifully dressed and her hair in stylish curls ready for a new day of warfare. One morning I thought to myself when she came in, “Chans, maybe you should have worn running shoes and boxing gloves... you’re gonna need it!” But the moment she walked in Aldo calmed down when he saw her and said, “Chans, you look so beautiful!” Even when the fight was at its worst and he couldn’t talk, he still wrote: “Chans, thank you for your love. Thank you that you help me fight in the spirit.”
It is amazing to see our good Father in our everyday lives. He knows the deepest desires of our heart, and He gave Aldo his heart’s desire through Chantelle.
I know that we are still busy on our journey of inner healing. Old wounds were uncovered and we have to deal with it – but this time there is no fear. Josh said to me the other day, “Mom, Jezebel can throw a big circus when she sees that she is caught out, huh! But we aren’t buying tickets to her show anymore!” Wow, at ten years old I didn’t even know who or what Jezebel is. Praise the Lord for this new generation of warriors that we have in our homes.
Much love to all of you from a very thankful McPherson family. A normal family walking a road of healing – without giving up when the going gets tough.... for one reason only: Our King is alive!
I am going to the sea with the kids for two weeks. We are all looking forward to it.
Above all remember: “Praise the LORD, For His mercy endures forever!” (2 Chron. 20:21).
Love Retah.
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